Mom’s Moment: Are You Nuts?

Happy Monday, loves!
I hope that you enjoyed a wonderful weekend with your friends and family. My role as the Royal Superkiddo Social Secretary, Chauffeur, and Cheerleader resumed, and I am completely worn out from all of his events! How on earth do moms with multiple kids juggle all of the items on their kids’ schedules? The amount of running around last weekend around can only be described as NUTS. 

Do you make parenting decisions that cause others to ask if you’re nuts?  Are your kids involved in practically everything? Do you bend over backwards for your kids’ happiness, and forget about your own?  Parenting can be quite the juggling act, and everyone around us – parents or not – will offer opinions. How do we know which decisions to make? What if our parenting choices are unpopular?

My husband and I frequently make choices that garner less than supportive phrases from some of the people we know. For example, when it was time to select a school for Superkiddo, everyone offered their expert opinions. He was absolutely miserable in one school, and tested into another. Supporters of both schools declared that these institutions were the absolute best that our region has to offer. Why on earth would we move him to an entirely different location? We frequently heard “are you nuts” from everyone from family to school administrators, but in the end, we had to trust that we knew what was best for our kid. And we were right. The story is much longer, and filled with far too many tearful moments to write, but we simply acted as parents, with the best interests of our child in mind.

Some parenting decisions are tough, and others should be simple, or should be seen as common sense. Our area recently experienced lower than normal temperatures.  We never saw the ice or snow that plagued other regions, but it was clearly cold enough for proper winter clothing. I noticed that a kid had on shorts and flip-flops, when the high temperature for the day was 30 degrees. The mom said to me, “I cannot force him to wear long pants or shoes; he just loves shorts and flip-flops.” She then complained that he had been sick for several weeks, and they had to alter their vacation plans. I’ll pause for you to read her statement again. I couldn’t stop myself…I just had to ask her “ARE YOU NUTS?!?” The kid is 7, SEVEN, years old, and you’re allowing him to make potentially harmful clothing choices? Who is the parent in this equation? There are times when we have to take a stand, even against a 7-year-old, to do what is right. Ok, so I am guilty of barging in with unsolicited parenting advice. Oops.

Some parenting choices are difficult, and the answers aren’t fully known until we embark upon a different path. Other decisions are just as simple as common sense  – – like proper shoes in inclement weather.  There are so many gray areas when it comes to parenting, and everyone (and their mama!) has an opinion on what we should do.  It can be quite the challenge to navigate the perilous waters of raising children. So, what do we do?

How NOT to Go Nuts with Parenting:

1. Keep the faith.  Unless you’re severely deficient in mental, emotional, and social capacities, you are the best judge of what should happen with your children.  Raise them in the manner that you believe. We are a Christian household, so in our case, we seek godly counsel for our choices. Our faith has clear guidelines for our lives, and we try to instill those ideals into our parenting.

2. You are not an island. When it comes to our own parents, some of us had the real life replicas of June Cleaver or Claire Huxtable, and others had Lynetta Gordon or Victoria Grayson (go ahead and google them, youngin’s lol). When we cannot look to our own parents for guidance, there are others within our village who can perhaps speak wisdom into our situations. It is perfectly okay to send up flares for help, and accept insight from other parents. Build a community of moms (and dads) that you trust to fearlessly love you, tell you the truth, and support you as you parent your children.

3. Retreat. No, I am not saying that you should wave a white flag, and run for the hills! Take time to refresh, release, and renew. You cannot effectively parent if you are worn out, and at the end of your rope. Remember your health and fitness, and keep your promises to pamper yourself. A simple afternoon alone, or with your spouse, can do wonders. (Don’t forget to tip the babysitter well!)

There are so many parenting resources available (Love and Logic is one of my favorites), so none of us should ever really have to say “I don’t know what to do” repeatedly. I hope that you will find your village of wise counsel, and take the time to strengthen yourself, so that you will not have a week of going nuts while parenting 🙂

I look forward to sharing more with you this week.

Until next time,

xoxo

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14 thoughts on “Mom’s Moment: Are You Nuts?

  1. great suggestions. Parenting can be crazy!!! Both my boys are active, one in band, and the other sports. So I’m usually running them all over the place. 🙂

    • xoxo Pam… I don’t know how you do it. We only have 1, & we are constantly on the go. I thought about painting my car yellow, & writing TAXI on the side. Maybe I’d get tips?

  2. Oh I’ve been told on many an occasion that I’m a mean parent, meh I just shrug it off. I try not to judge other parents in their choices, but I fail on that account much too often 😦

    • I normally try not to, Tammy, but l just couldn’t stop myself that time. 🙂
      I try not to be harsh (sometimes NO is considered mean), but my goal isn’t to be my kid’s buddy. I’m the mom. I’m charged by God to raise him, & send him out into the world. How can I do that if I’m afraid to parent?

  3. Um…yeah. People just see our four sometimes and think we’re nuts. But then, like at a restuarant, about half the time someone will come to our table as they’re leaving and say how well-behaved our kids are. So, we must have changed their minds? Ha!

    But no….my kids don’t make their wardrobe choices unless I give them options. We don’t leave the house until they’re properly dressed. My kids don’t make the decisions around here when it comes to health and safety! Just, you know…which song to dance to next on Just Dance. 😉

  4. Great points! Keep doing what you are doing. The only people who knows what is best for you and your family live in it. Seek help when needed but the decisions should be yours to make. *hugs*

  5. First of all, I love Love and Logic, too. I knew you were my type of peep. LOL

    Agreed with everything else. I was taking Baby Bug to school the other day and there was a kid in shorts and flip flops standing at the bus stop. I wanted to stop the car and have a discussion with him. Did they not own pants? Was his mom not home when he dressed? LOL It bugged me so bad because it was so cold even I had put on real shoes and I live in flip flops.
    I know some of my friends think I’m crazy for having Baby Bug try all sorts of classes at her age but here is my logic and I’m perfectly comfortable with my decision. I have found that teens have less issues IF they have something they are passionate about and goals they are already working towards. So my goal is to help her find her passion early on. Others might not agree with this approach and I don’t care. I’m not pushing her. We try something and if she likes it we continue and if she doesn’t we move on.
    Great Post and keep on keeping on. You are awesome!

  6. I totally agree with you. My daughter is one that loves to pick out her own clothes, but there are some mornings that I have to step in and put my foot down (sorry, you can’t wear a sleeveless dress with no tights in 10 degree weather), but I do try to compromise with her because I know it is important for her to make her own choices. We are a family that kind of does our own thing, and I have gotten lots of “are you nuts?!” comments from friends and family members alike. I have learned to just ignore them — I know whats best for my kids and what works for us, and I know that what we does doesnt always work for others.

    Great post!! 🙂

  7. I have a hard time sometimes because we get flack for putting our children in a magnet school….even thought we live in a really good school district. For us we originally needed for the all day kindergarden…then we really liked the school and how well our kid did there that we sent the second one. We get the “are you nuts’ for sending them to school with 50% of the student population from the inner city…we see that as a plus….anywho I am getting al ranty now. Its really hard until you look at your kids and know you are doing the right thing.

  8. So many parents think I am nuts because I can regularly be heard telling my kids this is not a democracy, this is a momocracy. I am not my kids BFF, I am their parent and so many parents now think that is just nuts. I am all about tough love and again that gets me called nuts by many. There will always be people who think you are nuts for what you do in raising your child. Ultimately though that child is yours and you know them best and what is good for them.

  9. I’m actually the one who makes things nuts because I take on too much. The 9 year old also sort of suffers because she’s at the mercy of her two baby brothers’ schedules. Sigh. It will get easier, I’m sure.

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